DICTIONARY OF DATING
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ATTRACTION    the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 
1st SIGHT     what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely
              choosey people meet.

DATING        the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time,
              and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom
              you don't especially like in the present and will learn
              to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing   
              special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom,
              and dating repulsive men.

EASY          a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual
              morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT   a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man
              that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to
              do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly
              in   the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but
              usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not
              located in her chest.

FRIEND        a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who
              has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally
              unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE  a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by
              the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING   a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all
              the talking.

IRRITATING
HABIT         what the endearing little qualities that initially
attract
              people to each other turn into after a few months
              together.

LAW OF
RELATIVITY    how attractive a given person appears to be is directly
              proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC  a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often
              than he does.

SOBER         condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.