In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff,
    the male staff has created a set of courses for females of
    all marital status.  The following courses will be offered:

  General Education:
    GE101:  Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges
    GE102:  Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic")
    GE103:  How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
    GE104:  How to Parallel Park
    GE105:  Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity
    GE106:  Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps
    GE107:  Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera

  Home Economics:
    HE101a: Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Prematurely
    HE101b: Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear Out Prematurely
    HE101c: Over-Dusting - Why Furniture Wears Out Prematurely
    HE101d: Over-Washing - Why Dishes Wear Out Prematurely
    HE102:  How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How
	    to Cut Credit Cards in Half")
    HE103:  Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How
	    Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?")

  Interpersonal Relationships:
    IR101:  How to Say "No" With Kindness and Appreciation
    IR102:  Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy
	    Watching Roller Derby
    IR103:  Submission - a Biblical Perspective (prereq: SE101a or b)
    IR104:  Marriage - The Number One Cause of Divorce
    IR105:  Preposterous Mood Swings (PMS) (formerly "Keeping Your
	    Personal Problems from Ruining Everyone Else's Life Too")
    IR106:  Understanding Men's Revulsion to Tampon Commercials
	    (formerly called "We Know What That Little 'Plastic Applicator'
	    is REALLY For!")

  Sex Education:
    SE101a: How to Say "Yes"
    SE101b: How to Say "No" But Mean "Yes"
    SE102:  Sex - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore
    SE103:  Who Belongs on Top and Why
    SE104:  Lingerie - The Gift that Keeps On Giving
    SE105:  Sexual Alternatives for "That Time of the Month"
	    (formerly titled "Any Old Port in a Storm")
    SE106:  Foreplay (not a required course, for extra credit only)


-- John Hunley (john@storcon.com)



Yes, now women too can enjoy special "just for her" seminars taught by our
all-male faculty.  

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN

1.  "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes"
2.  Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?") 
3.  Elementary Map Reading 
4.  Crying and law enforcement
5.  Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
6.  You can go shopping for less then 4 hours
7.  Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast
8.  The Seven-Outfit Week
9.  PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly 
    Since Puberty -- Deal With It)
10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission
11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water
14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament
15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You")
16. How to Earn Your Own Money
17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments
23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the embarrassment)
24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
26. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours
27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock)
29. "To Honor and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do"
30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing his
      Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within?

JHFROME and MTABBOTT @amherst.edu