YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO WHEN . . . 

Your co-worker tells you they have eight body piercings but none are 
visible.

When someone says TENDERLOIN-you don't think steak.  You think 
danger.

You make over $100,000 and you still can't afford a house. 

You know more than 5 people who don't own a car. 

You keep a list of companies to boycott. 

You take the bus and are shocked at two people carrying  on a 
conversation in English.

You never bother looking at the purported schedule  for your MUNI line 
because you know the drivers have never seen it either.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who 
delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is a guy in drag. 

You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from 
the Midwest.

You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a 
tourist.

You can't remember...Is pot still illegal? 

You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a 
sperm donor.

You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a FREE TIBET bumper 
sticker-and you mean it.

You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown, 
and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.

You never order just "coffee" in a coffee bar. 

You know the phone number for the MUNI complaint line by heart. 

A really great parking spot can move you to tears. 

You prefer the Spanish Soaps on TV - the gals and guys are much 
hotter!

You know that anyone wearing shorts in April is just visiting from Ohio. 

A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You 
don't notice.

A woman walks on MUNI with live poultry.  You don't notice. 

You assume every company  offers domestic partner benefits. 

Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers" ...it's the first time you have 
seen him nude.

Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is 
named "Breeze".  And, after telling that information to a friend, they 
still need to ask if the teacher is male or female

You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved
to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life 
depended on it.

You are thinking of taking an adult ed class - but you can't decide 
between Yoga, Aromatherapy, Conversational Mandarin or Building Your 
Web Site class.

You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in 
Georgia.