This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student who received
the highest honors at the school district's ebonics translation
competition.

Assignment: Please translate the following Rap song lyrics from Ebonics to
standard English.

Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
Album: Ready to Die
Song: One more chance (remix)

Lyrics:
First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin' money
Those the ones I like 'cause they don't get nathan'
But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
However, I stay coochied down to the socks
Rings and watch filled with rocks

TRANSLATION:
As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds,
including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine
models, and prostitutes.

I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are
generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile
intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a
consistent basis.

Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types
of sexual acts with some regularity.

Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive
jewellery.

Lyrics:
And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi
Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee
As I lay down laws like I lay carpet
Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit

TRANSLATION:
I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women enjoy
this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me driving.

Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations, some of the
more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce me in their
homes.
 
Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such actions are
unacceptable.
 
Lyrics:
Don't see my ones, don't see my guns - get it
Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
I don't know what the hell's stoppin' ya
I'm clockin' ya - Versace shades watchin' ya
Once ya grin, I'm in game, begin

TRANSLATION:
Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons.
I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent sexual
acts.

Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior Mafia.

I'm having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to approach me.

I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my expensive glasses,
and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you.

Lyrics:
First I talk about how I dress and this
And diamond necklaces - stretch Lexuses
The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the
Climax that your man can't make
Call and tell him you'll be home real late
Let's sing the break

TRANSLATION:
I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and
jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars.

This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with
me.

I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter you from
behind.

Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a
problem with your current sexual partner. He needn't be concerned about
your whereabouts.

Please phone him and inform him that you won't be home for a while.

By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.