How to find a needle in a haystack...

In the spirit of "Driving To The Shop":

Macintosh: You click on "Find", then type in "needle".  The Mac then takes so
long to pull the haystack apart that you forget what you wanted the needle
for.

UN*X: You spend half an hour trying to figure out how to do it.  In
desperation, you post to a newsgroup for help.  The day afterwards, someone
mails you a two-line shell script which burns the haystack, finds the needle
with a magnet and then rebuilds the haystack from its ashes.

Windoze: You click on "Find" then type in "needle".  It only takes 3 minutes
to find the haystack if you've got more the 8Mb, but the magnet provided is
too weak to find the needle.

Risc-OS: You select the "Find" option from the pop-up menu and then type in
"needle".  Half the time it finds the needle in less than a quarter of a
second, but the other half it crashes and says "Find has suffered a fatal
internal error (type=5) and must exit immediately".

Prolog: You ask it to find the needle, and it figures out for itself that it
needs to burn the haystack.  Unfortunately the magnet runs out of stack space.

Postscript:
You describe the exact curvature of each bit of straw to the interpreter which
then looks for the needle and attempts to return it only to find it is a level
1 interpreter and has no such facilities and bombs out reporting..
"Error: /undefined in needle: %interp_exit --nostringval-- --nostringval--
--nostringval-- false --nostringval-- --nostringval-- false --nostringval--
--nostringval-- --nostringval-- Current file position is 22"

Forth:
You attempt to run your carefully designed Forth program to find the needle
and it replies with "Stack Underflow." Upon checking you find that of course
the needle has accidentally been popped off at the end of the last straw
sorting routine and has now been added back to the haystack.


MS-DOS:  Halfway through the haystack it finds a nail.  It interprets
this as an "end-of-haystack" indicator and refuses to search any
further.

C:
Accidentally trashes a pointer and burns down the three nearby cities 
instead.


Those involved:
  Keith Lucas (sillywiz@dcs.warwick.ac.uk)
  Gothick (gothick@dcs.warwick.ac.uk)
  Charlie Gibbs (Charlie_Gibbs@mindlink.bc.ca)
  Chris Reuter (cgreuter@undergrad.math.uwaterloo.ca)