Physics Story


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.  The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared
it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
well.

"Is hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?  Support your answer with a proof."


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant.  One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some
mass.

If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.  So, at what
rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?  I
think that we  can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it
will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that
exist   in the world today.  Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell.  Since, there
are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay
the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
constant.

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase
until all hell breaks loose.

Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
Freshman year, that "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

It was not revealed what grade the student got.