The Dummy From Hell

For the sewing-impaired, a Uniquely You dress form consists of a foam core shaped
like a well-endowed woman, and a cloth cover which you sew to fit your own
dimensions, then stuff the foam core inside, yielding a dressmaker's form with your
own measurements.

From: close@lunch.asd.sgi.com (Diane Barlow Close)
Newsgroups: alt.sewing
Subject: Re: Problems fitting Uniquely You (long!)

Mirabelle Severn & Thames writes: 

 I recently bought the Uniquely You dressform, and my mother agreed to fit the
 cover for me. Well, about 1/3 of the way through the fitting, she is running
 into problems she didn't expect, and doesn't feel secure trying to finish the
 project. Can anyone give advice? 

Okay, I think I'm brave enough now to tell everyone about my experiences with
"Uniquely You". I ordered mine from National Thread and Supply Company (in
Atlanta, Georgia) who, in turn, get their supply directly from the UY folks but are
able to discount it quite a bit. I ordered the "extra small" form and from the
measurement range given it should've been just fine.

Unfortunately for me, I ordered at the time that the U.Y. folks were trying out a new
foam extrusion mix. Somehow I got one of the "test" dummies instead of the real
thing. The problem with the new mix was that it discoloured and expanded (greatly)
when faced with humidity. I didn't know that when I got my dummy; I just knew it
looked a bit mottled and way too big to "squish" down to my size.

In fact, the dummy had a 44 DD bust! I called the UY company about this but they
assured me that I must be wrong, that the bust couldn't be that big and that even if it
was it would shrink once the cover was applied. They explained that the foam was
much bigger than the cover, but that the foam would compress greatly and that I
should just go ahead and make my cover and all would become clear soon. They
explained that a lot of force was needed to compress their foam, but compress it
would and I should just try it and see.

After I got off the phone, I remeasured the bust and it was, indeed, 44DD (it was
HUGE). It looked like some bizarre, life-sized headless Barbie. Encouraged by the
phone conversation with the UY people, I started sewing up my cover. I fitted the top
half, on me, just fine. I zipped it off and tried to zip it on the dummy. It wouldn't go;
it wouldn't squish.

I asked my husband for help. Eventually we had the dummy on the floor with my
husband kneeling on top of the breasts and me pushing from underneath the cover
trying to compress everything into place. Then we started wondering what this must
look like to our neighbours, so I got up and closed the curtains! :-) Continuing our
wrestling match, we managed to stuff MOST of the breasts into the cover, but we
couldn't, for the life of us, compress them so they all fit into the cover.

We managed to get the cover zipped into place but there was "breasts" popping out
all over the place! We decided to see if we could squish the breasts into place any
further. My husband pushed from above while I pushed from below. Whammo, side
seams gave away and we had breast "leaking" out the side. We tried again. And again.
It was a hot and humid summer day and we were not enjoying this strenuous activity
very much.

Finally we achieved some measure of success, with the cover "centered" over massive
"breasts" peering around all sides. We stood back. BLAMMMO! The cover seams all
gave way at once and blew off the dummy, leaving "Barbie" once again standing
naked before us. Not only that, but the "breasts" appeared to have grown! They
certainly looked bigger to me, and a check with the measuring tape now clocked them
at 50 DD!! Help, it's Barbie from Hell! :-D

We called UY and complained strenously this time. I pointed out that my dummy
was "growing". They put the owner/creator on the phone and he realized that we had
gotten a "bad" dummy, that is, one made with the bad experimental foam. The
discolouration was the key to recognition. He asked me to send it back to him for
inspection and replacement.

You'd think that would be the end of it, wouldn't you? Well, think again! :-) I
packaged the dummy up, in the original box, and sent it off UPS-insured. I got a call
a couple days later because UY had *refused* my shipment! I couldn't believe it!
After they had asked me to send it back directly to them! I couldn't figure out what
must've gone wrong so called them back, immediately. The told me they didn't take
damaged goods. What?! What did they mean "damaged" goods? I sent back an intact
product! It was a defective product, but then they knew that as they were the ones
who had asked me to send it to them for inspection. Unfortunately the person who
handled the shipment was away and all the woman on the phone knew was that the
shipment had been refused due to "damage", so I would have to wait a few days for
the original person to return to explain why she refused my shipment.

I got my answer a couple days later when a "hit and run" UPS driver lobbed a
grotesquely-deformed (previously-a-box) shape over my fence and ran for the truck.
It seems that somewhere along the line the package must've fallen off the truck and
been backed over several times by a truck. The rectangular box was now a triangle
and the remains of the dummy had tire tracks on it. Not only that, but it seems it had
expanded some more, in transit, and one breast had blown a hole in the box and was
now sitting there "staring" at the world rather ominously. The other breast had been
ripped off, mostly, and was attached to the dummy by only a wee bit of foam.
Numerous other cuts and scrapes told tales of some type of weird raging battle that
had been fought between this dummy and who-knows-what! :-)

I called up UPS wondering how the heck they managed to turn my package into the
deformity before me and they offered to send another driver out to pick it up for
inspection. By this time I wasn't about to trust another "ride" on the truck, so I
insisted that they send out an inspector directly to inspect the damage here. Under the
circumstances, and considering the amount of money involved, they agreed.

When the UPS claims person came out to inspect the damage she asked me what on
earth this "thing" was used for. She treated it like she thought she could get Bubonic
Plague from it. She started shaking her head and complaining about all the weird sex
toys she was forced to inspect now that she was based out here in San Francisco and
not back in good old Illinois... I tried to explain that it was a manequin for sewing
and fitting clothes, not some "sex toy". She didn't believe me. She wrote it up as
"inflatable foam doll" and treated it like it had some disease she didn't want to catch.

She had to remove the dummy from the box, and in order to do that you had to
compress the one "escaped" breast to get it back through the hole so the rest of the
dummy could come out of the box. She didn't want to touch the breast. No sirree!
She was NOT going to touch another breast, not even a foam one! It was very
amusing to watch. She honestly believed it was some kind of sex toy and I was some
kind of pervert... :-D I finally got the dummy out of the box for her, but even then
she wouldn't touch it to inspect the damage. :-) It was very embarrassing! She
quickly agreed that UPS would give me a full refund and I don't think I've seen
anyone leave my house so quickly... :-D

Anyway, all's well that ends well, and I got my money back in full from UPS. I
didn't have the nerve to try another "Uniquely You". I bought a Dritz Double. I don't
really need the "fits your shape" capability of UY, as I'm pretty well the industry
standard shape anyway. Yes, I'm one of the rare few who can use patterns directly
from the envelope and have them fit perfectly. Do the Dritz Double turned out to be
just fine for me.

I hope this helps someone! :-)


Peter Leppik