Chris Hennessy (chenness@enterprise.powerup.com.au) wrote:

 The brothers Usas and Senda, despairing of the state 
 of UseNet, went unto the mountain at the feet of Net.God. 
 "Oh Net.God, there is confusion and sorrow in your place 
 of UseNet. The people worship false gods and knowst not 
 your will."

 Net.God spoke unto Usas and Senda. "YOU PLAYETH THE GAME 
 BY NET.GOD'S LAWS, OR THE BAT WILL BE DEPOSITED IN THE 
 LIGHTLESS PLACE."

 Usas, being devout and greatly afeard of Net.God, prayed. 
 "Lord, how am I to know your will?"

 And Net.God, being wise in the ways of Usas, spake thus, 
 "THOU SHALT OBEY THE LAWS OF USENET, THERE BEING TEN, OR 
 BE DAMNED UNTO THE LAST GENERATION," for He is a merciful 
 God.

 So did Net.God deliver unto Usas the Commandments.


 THE TEN USENET COMMANDMENTS
 ---------------------------

1. Thou shalt not battle over operating systems.
   I am wise and in My wisdom have created diverse and 
   various operating systems. Be true unto the chosen system 
   and neither covet nor despise your neighbour's operating 
   system.

2. Thou shalt not battle over nationalities or tribes.
   I have placed the UseNet aside from all things, and granted 
   it unto Usas. I am blind to the place in which pray, all 
   prayers being equal in Virtual Heaven.

3. Thou shalt not flame.
   Your Net.God has anger in His heart for those who flame 
   without cause or who do persecute the spelling of others. In 
   my wisdom I have created opinions to be as armpits; your's 
   is warm and secure but thine neighbour's stinks. Tolerate 
   others as you would be tolerated. Flames are Mine, and I do 
   preserve some good ones for these people.

4. Thou shalt not MAKE-$$$$-FAST.
   I have made Usas wise that the love of money is the root of 
   all evil. He who angers his neighbour by the wasting of 
   bandwidth shall anger Net.God, and also by spamming or 
   cluttering. I reserveth a special Hell for these, and great 
   shall be their sorrow.

5. Thou shalt quote meaningfully.
   Net.God loves not the man who taketh more than needed nor he 
   who quoteth all, including the sig. Render unto Net.God what 
   is Net.God's, render unto Usas what is Usas; credit Senda for 
   he is good.

6. Thou shalt e-mail personal prayers.
   I have rendered unto Usas the ability to talk to all the 
   peoples of the world. I tell you, it is better to whisper into 
   an ear than shout into a crowd.

7. Thou shalt not me-too.
   Make not your prayers to the Senda the knowledge of thine 
   neighbour. The wisdom of Usas is the ability to speak to all 
   people, and to choose to speak to one.

8. Thou shalt not cross post unwisely.
   The place I grant thee for rec.pets.cats is not the place of
   comp.unix.advocacy. 

9. Thou shalt not post tests in profusion.
   I giveth unto you the lands of alt.test to learn of your God. 
   Tend to Usas as I do My calves; let the new gather the strength 
   to stand before joining with the herd.

10.Thou shalt send complete offerings.
   Send not to your God incomplete offerings. If the parts of the
   sacrifice number all the people of the world times ten your 
   God will not be pleased to receive all but two. The blessing of 
   Net.God is upon he who posts fewer large parts that he who posts 
   many small ones.

[Note - reprinted by permission of Chris Hennessy.  This can also be found on
	his home page (http://www.powerup.com.au/~chenness/).  My thanks to
	him, and my thanks to the submitter for getting permission - ed.]