ARE YOU A TECHNO-DWEEB? Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a Techno-Dweeb. Do not despair! There is help! You are not alone! Whenever you feel the urge to code in Assembler, call the number in the white pages of your phone book, and we will send somebody right over to cut out paper dolls with you until the feeling passes. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TECHNO-DWEEB WHEN... When your friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 and you reply "Yeah, I had V5, and it was full of bugs!" When driving you see a license plate with the letters DSR, and you feel compelled to touch your bumper to the other car to see if you can raise CD. When you are counting objects "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". When you lay down in the afternoon for a short rest, end up sleeping 4 hours, and call it a "mega-nap". When your friend is going to Essex for vacation and you tell her, "You really should go for the DX, it has the built in co-processor." When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When you have to go to the bathroom, but you wait until bladder meltdown, since "goto" is bad programming style. When you convince yourself that Tetris really does improve eye-hand coordination. When the radio traffic reporter talks about a backup caused by a crash, and you correct her that a backup is good protection in case of a crash. When floppy drive applies more to your love life, and hard drive to your machines. When you call "*.*" star-dot-star. When you can do hexadecimal arithmatic in your head. When your wife goes to the market for some macintosh apples, and you correct her, "No, dear, it's 'Apple Macintosh'." When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause. -- Jim Ritterbusch (I'd Rather Be Computing) ritterbus001@wcsu.ctstateu.edu